Buffalo, N.Y. (WBEN) - It has been a problem that has affected many kids of all ages growing up spanning decades, and like the world we live in, is evolving with the times.
Bullying has become a focal point of discussion across many circles, and the types of bullying ranges to varying degrees. Bullying is the aggression towards someone that's vulnerable, and it can come in the form of verbal bullying, physical bullying, and also social bullying.
While it has become important to realize how to define bullying, it is becoming more of an importance to detect it and treat it. It is also becoming more important to be aware of where the source of bullying is coming from.
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"It's very common. Actually 20%, or one in five of students aged 12-to-18, report being bullied at school. And cyberbullying is also prominent as well. It varies in terms of the percentages, but that's also seen. It's more common than you would realize," said Dr. Wendy Weinstein, President of the medical staff at BryLin Behavioral Health.
For several years, bullying has been very common in schools, whether it's taking place in the hallways, classrooms, after school programs and more. Hamburg Central School District Superintendent Michael Cornell believes every school has a bullying problem of every kind.
"Every one of society's challenges walks in the schoolhouse door every single day. None of us are immune from bullying any more than we're immune from having mental health challenges, substance abuse challenges, or any of the other challenges that society faces every day," said Cornell. "Every school has challenges with bullying, whether it's Hamburg or anyplace else. So the question is, what do we do to try to stem the tide of that type of behavior?"
Cornell feels a lot that assessment with bullying comes with trying to understand what causes any young person to engage in that kind of behavior in the first place.
"There are a few things that you can point to," he said. "One of the things the research tells us is when students engage in misbehavior or antisocial behavior, it's sometimes because they're hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. That's a recipe for children engaging in this behavior, and bullying is the type of behavior that falls under the category of behaviors that a kid might engage in if they're hungry, angry, lonely, or tired."
Although bullying has been going on for several years at all age levels in school, work, etc., there are unfortunate circumstances where it leads to someone going to the extent of taking their own life because they are being picked on beyond the threshold of what they can take anymore.
The latest example of this unfortunately came back in May when a 12-year-old student in the Buffalo Public School District took his own life after being subjected to relentless bullying at school, online, and even at his own home.
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With the evolution of technology and social media over the last decade-plus, it has allowed many people to connect with others in several different formats. However, that can have adverse effects on a young individual who is facing relentless bullying from all corners.
"Cyberbullying is very problematic, because you can't get away from it," Dr. Weinstein said. "With bullying at a school, you can leave the school. But cyberbullying never goes away, because it's done on multiple platforms. You can be aggressive to the person at all times, from all different directions. Even if you try to, let's say, block someone who is bullying you, if it's a group of people, it just won't stop, because it'll come from someone else or or somewhere else. So it's extremely problematic, and it just never ends. It's kind of with you no matter what you do, and it can end up feeling very frightening, very isolating, and feeling very alone and cause a lot of anxiety."
"When I was in high school, I went to three different high schools. I was the new kid a lot, and people didn't always love the new kid in school. I could get away from whatever is bothering me at school," Cornell added in agreeance with Dr. Weinstein. "I would go to practice, I would go home, hang out with my friends around my neighborhood. Whatever was bothering me at school, I could get away from it by playing baseball or football, or playing with my friends around my house because there are no cell phones. Now if you've got a bullying issue at school, there's no escape, unless you put down the phone and put it away. We know a lot of kids, they don't put the phone away. It's the way they connect to the people that they do care about in their lives."
With cyberbullying's effect on some students in today's age, should it be considered as something completely different from what many know as “bullying?” Dr. Weinstein feels it's still part of the whole bullying piece.
"I don't know if it necessarily should be looked at as separate. I think it's part of the big issue of bullying in general, in which you're aggressive towards someone who is considered vulnerable. And I think cyberbullying is sort of a subset of bullying," she said.
Cornell believes bullying has started to take a crushing effect on young people, which not only is a sad reality for many parents, but it's also a scary reality.
The family of the sixth grade Buffalo Public Schools student that took their own life to bullying last month pointed out they remember, at one time, the school had mental health clinics embedded within the schools of the district. However, that was more in a pre-COVID setting, which has the family calling for a reassessment.
As Cornell goes into great detail, the Hamburg district has become very aware of the importance of recognizing the well-being of their students, but also offering different programs or student groups that help combat bullying and other issues students face.
One of the foundational elements of how staff at Hamburg try to help kids interact with each other, and how to try and help kids feel good about themselves is the Youth Mental Health First Aid training that takes place.
"Every one of our employees, 650 of them, is fully trained and certified in Youth Mental Health First Aid, which allows our adults the ability to understand, notice the signs and symptoms of mental or emotional distress in young people, and trains them to provide some first aid in a way that preserves the dignity of the young person," Cornell explained. "You have a conversation with the child outside of class, in a safe place, and you say, 'I noticed you haven't done your homework in three or four days, it doesn't seem quite like you. Is there's something going on that I can help you with?' Maybe 10 years ago, that conversation in school might be, 'Michael, you haven't done your homework in four days. You better get your act together.' But now we're much more attuned to what's happening in the lives of young people, and it's very likely that there's something going on at home with that young person, or maybe just whatever the change in behavior is that we noticed, we trained our people to notice that change in behavior. And what we want to do is engage that young person in the conversation, understand what we can from that conversation, and then do a warm handoff to one of our school-based mental health professionals - a psychologist, a social worker, a school counselor, administrator - so that they can dig into it a little bit deeper."
Cornell calls Youth Mental Health First Aid a "game changer" for the school district since that process started in 2017. Not only has it benefited the district and families in a lot of ways, other schools like Orchard Park, Grand Island and Cleve Hill are starting to learn the benefits of Youth Mental Health First Aid.
"Understanding trauma that happens in students lives, and understanding how that impacts their behavior at school. And being able to inform our instructional practices and other practices in school, based on what we know is happening in students lives on kind of a macro level. And again, that's something we're working out in Hamburg, and school districts all across Western New York and across the country are dialed into that as well," Cornell said. "Everybody has, we call it, our culture of kindness, character education, antibullying, every school has some version of that happening in their schools."
While some of the tactics and systems being used at Hamburg is seeing plenty of positive results, Cornell does acknowledge there is no one answer to properly address bullying and cyberbullying happening among the youth.
"Sometimes we're lulled into the fallacy that there's one thing that's going to fix a problem in a school. Very often, that's not the case," he said. "It's always a mosaic of things, a menu of items that you have to choose from that befit the culture of your school, the strengths of your school district, the needs of your kids, and the needs and demographics of your community."
For the schools that may not have the proper tools to address bullying at this time, there are other avenues for students to be able to get the help they need, rather than keeping these problems reserved or to themselves.
"They need to go to their parents. If they don't feel comfortable going to their parents, they need to go to an adult, someone they trust and feel very comfortable with," Dr. Weinstein said. "The problem is this makes you feel like you're alone and you have no one. Think about it, our phones, social media and the Internet is really the major way people communicate these days, and they'll feel very isolated and alone. So if they can go to a parent and start to feel like they're not alone, that they're being abused and that this needs to be taken seriously, there can be a lot of help."
And if some young individuals feel they need to go beyond that to seek proper assistance, there are a number of public health services like BryLin that can be of service.
"BryLin has crisis care for children ages 5-to-17 years of age, and it's a programming for children and adolescents. It's an acute care hospital where if someone is feeling so depressed, so overwhelmed, starting to feel suicidal, that they have no hope, they can reach out either themselves or with the help of a parent or a good friend to ask for that help that they need. We can help them, they're not alone," Dr. Weinstein said. "The problem is if you already suffer from depression and you're being bullied, that's going to just play into more of the depression. And worst case scenario is suicide, which is just an awful way when you're really not alone and there's help. But you're at that age where you feel like there's no help, there's nothing, that you're being picked on for the core belief of who you are. It's a very difficult thing."