Michigan basketball coach Juwan Howard spoke to reporters Wednesday for the first time since returning from his five-game suspension for striking an opposing coach and offered no excuses for his mistake.
"I enjoy being here and I enjoy being the leader of this program," Howard said. "I also enjoy being a good leader for our players and staff. I had a setback. In that moment, I was not. I take full responsibility and I’m sorry."
Howard struck Wisconsin assistant coach Joe Krabbenhoft in the face following an altercation in the handshake line with Wisconsin head coach Greg Gard after the Wolverines' 77-63 road loss to the Badgers last month. Howard initially took exception to Gard calling a timeout in the final seconds and grew further heated when Gard tried to corral him in the handshake line to explain the timeout.
"I could come with 1,000 excuses, but I’m not. I take full ownership of my actions," Howard said. "I could talk about the timeout, we could discuss the pulled arm, we could talk about the words that were exchanged with coaches, but all that would be excuses.
"The main thing is, that was not the right way how I should carry myself as a head coach at a fine institution like the University of Michigan. I was truly upset with myself. During the two weeks (I was suspended), I did some soul-searching on how I can improve. When I talk about my team getting one percent better, that applies to me, too."
To that end, Howard, 49, said he "went out and sought therapy."
"This wasn’t the first time and it won’t be the last time," he said. "Because I want to be a better person. I want to be a better coach. And I felt that was the right thing to do to help me improve as a person."
Reflecting on the incident, Howard said he realized, "I hurt a lot of people. I hurt my family, I hurt my players and their families, I hurt my staff, I hurt the Michigan family, the Michigan alumni base. There were a lot of people I hurt during that moment and are still hurting."
Howard was defiant in his postgame press conference in Madison. He said the incident was triggered by Gard's late timeout and later said he had to defend himself when Gard touched his arm in the handshake line. Asked Wednesday when he realized he had made a mistake, Howard said, "I knew when I got back on the bus that I was upset with how I conducted myself in that moment in the press conference -- for what I said wasn’t from the heart.
"As you know, the next day, after reflecting and thinking about it, that statement that I made came from the heart and that’s what I meant to say."
Howard apologized in his statement and said that he realized upon further reflection "how unacceptable both my actions and words were, and how they affected so many."
Howard will be back on Michigan's sideline Thursday for the team's Big Ten Tournament opener against Indiana; the Wolverines went 3-2 in his absence and could use another win to ensure a berth in the NCAA Tournament. He said he knows there's "going to be a big microscope on me every time I coach" moving forward.
"What are my emotions like? How am I communicating with my players? I will tell you this: I’m not a perfect person. And with the mistake I made, I will try to improve. But there was growth and I’ve learned throughout the process, and I will continue to keep learning," Howard said.