How old are you?
It sounds like a simple question but for a lot of people, it can feel surprisingly loaded. According to clinical psychologist Michelle Moore with LSU Health New Orleans, our hesitation to share our age often has less to do with vanity and more to do with how we measure ourselves.
“For some people, admitting their age feels like admitting they aren’t where they thought they’d be in life,” Moore explains.
Saying the number out loud can feel like acknowledging missed milestones or unmet expectations, even when those timelines were self-imposed to begin with.
For others, it’s about fear of judgment. Moore says people may worry they’ll be boxed in by assumptions; that they’re “too old” to do certain things or, on the flip side, that they must be doing certain things because of their age.
And it’s not just older adults feeling the pressure. Moore says younger people sometimes hesitate too, concerned about being labeled immature, inexperienced, or incapable. In other words, age anxiety spans the entire spectrum.
Still, Moore says the most common fear tends to center on growing older and what that represents.
“It’s not always about what you’ve done or haven’t done,” she says. “It’s often about realizing how much time you may have left.”
Her advice? Flip the script. Instead of seeing age as time running out, see it as proof that there’s still time; time to grow, try, and finish what feels incomplete. Moore adds that mindset matters, noting that many people carry a “spiritual age” that doesn’t always match the number on the calendar.
She also points out that age itself has evolved. People today are living longer, healthier, more active, and more vibrant lives than generations before them.
One simple way to break the stigma? Moore says don’t choke up when someone asks your age, say it proudly. Because at the end of the day, the real goal isn’t avoiding the number, it’s seeing as many birthdays as possible!