A break from my daily job of following and talking about controversial topics in the news has rejuvenated my head and my soul, and I return back to my reality with a new sense that America is not as bad as the news and the talk shows would have us believe.
I’m writing this on my flight back to New Orleans from visiting my son, daughter-in-law, granddaughter, and grandson in Portland, OR. I feel relaxed and inspired. My family was the first people I have had direct contact with in almost a year.
The pandemic pushed me into isolation; and since I’m single and live alone and doing my talk show from a studio set up in my apartment in downtown New Orleans, this meant the only people I saw were the people I would pass in the aisles at the grocery store. They are mostly strangers, but I always appreciate the listeners that stopped to say hi and make a comment about the show.
My plans to go to Portland for Thanksgiving were changed because of the CDC warnings about traveling during the holiday season, but also because of my common sense.
Traveling now has been effortless. I have worn a mask and social distanced with the exception of being with my family. It really was awesome to have the human contact of hugs and even of my granddaughter jumping on me. Holding her and my grandson next to me on the sofa watching a movie was special, and it was a mental and emotional escape from my daily routine of taking notes while watching the news and searching for political and pop culture topics I think will be interesting and entertaining.
Adding to the escape of just being around my family was the fact that it all took place in Portland and the beautiful Pacific Northwest. We spent several days in the resort city of Sun River, which was covered in snow; and the crackling of the nightly fire was comforting.
But this time away proved to be meaningful beyond the expected break of being off and the joy of being with my family. The Portland and the Pacific Northwest are among the places in America where you feel an emotional distance from reality. I did check in on the news almost every day, though, because I don’t want to come back with no knowledge of what has happened over the past week.
I was reminded that even if we don’t pay attention to the news and the daily controversies - it doesn’t stop it from happening. What’s fascinating is that the world goes on even if you are not heavily involved in every developing controversy that talk radio and the cable news channels thrive on. It’s a reminder for all of us to sometimes take a break from news even if we are not on vacation.
Since my daily life is mostly focused on the controversies of politics and pop culture, I used this break to understand that sustaining life is not solely predicated on controversy. And I felt the need to share with you the idea that your life does not solely depend on protecting your political and moral territory.
Coinciding with my epiphany that my life does not depend on controversy alone, I bought the book “Everything Is F*cked” by bestselling author Mark Manson. Early in the book he writes about the paradox of progress, which he defines as “the better things get, the more anxious and desperate we seem to feel.”
In the chapter titled, “The Uncomfortable Truth,” Manson summaries the writings of Steven Pinker and Hans Rosling, writing that:
“People are more educated and literate than ever before. Violence has trended down for decades, possibly centuries. Racism, sexism, discrimination, and violence against women are at their lowest points in recent history. We have more rights than ever before. Half the planet has access to the Internet. Extreme poverty is at an all-time low worldwide. Wars are smaller and less frequent than at any other time in recorded history. Children are dying less, and people are living longer. There’s more wealth than ever before. We’ve, like cured a bunch of diseases and stuff.”
Since this book was copyrighted in 2019, there are legitimate counter-points that can be made about some of what Manson writes, like violence is trending down. There are areas in New Orleans and other parts of America that have experience more violence, and the ease with which individuals resort to violence to settle even a simple argument is disturbing. And COVID-19 has sent life expectancy in America trending downward. We are not living longer right now. But there is hope that is only a temporary trend.
Yes, we still have racism, sexism, discrimination and violence against women, but the daily news and the radio and TV shows that are based on controversy do not paint a true picture of life for most Americans. I mention this without implying that we should be complacent with our progress; but, rather, we should use our own personal realities about the controversies we are exposed to through the news media and talk shows to balance the reflection of the world we witness through the media.
Often discussed on my talk show on WWL Radio and social media, is the fact that “the news” and “talk shows” have one primary goal in mind - to get your attention.
The stories and the angles that get your attention are those ones with controversy or conflict between different ideologies.
Blaming the media or politicians for the great American divide may be popular because it exonerates people, but we - the people - are responsible for sustaining the great divide. Why don’t politicians work together and compromise more? Because you don’t want them too.
You can say you want compromise, but the politicians that depend on your vote hear you cheering for your side to remain true to its tribal traditions. You are cheering for your politicians to stand up to the other side and do everything in their power to not only refuse to compromise, but to even embarrass the other side whenever possible. I get blamed for fueling the divide on my radio talk show; but blaming me or the media, in general, is absurd since you know we are not going to make you do or think anything that is contrary to your core beliefs.
In his book, Mark Manson also points out that statistics show that “depression and anxiety are on an 8-year upswing among young people in America and a 21-year upswing among the adult population.”
We can all argue that things in this country are a mess or as Manson would put in in his book: F***ed up, but is it really that bad? No, it’s not that bad.
“Because the better the world gets, the more we have to lose. And the more we have to lose, the less we feel we have to hope for,” is the legitimate point raised by the author.
I have often thought about the unbelievable number of petty things that become full-blown verbal wars on talk radio. For such petty things to arouse such ire in people suggests that maybe we just don’t have enough serious things to worry about.
If you hate former President Donald Trump - think about how much he actually changed your life. And if you are panicking that President Joe Biden will turn America into a socialist nation over the next 4 years - reality will shock you. But arguing that Trump or Biden will destroy our country is part of the political debate in America that has evolved into a recreational sport.
Anyone can argue that in many ways life sucks! But there is also a lot of good in the world around - but we have to find it. We have a choice of only focusing on the negative news, which is the news that gets our attention; and that is the goal of the media. Or we can look for the positive things that can become hidden in the fog of our daily routines.
I am not being insensitive to the many whose lives have changed dramatically by the pandemic, but the collective negativity coming from talk shows on radio and cable news networks preceded the pandemic. Many Americans are struggling and many are hungry and find themselves in desperate situations, but the great American divide began building when President Barack Obama took office in 2009; and it has only accelerated after just 4 years of President Trump with no signs of letting up in the foreseeable future because people choose to support the divide.
Americans are greedy and impatient - two characteristics exaggerated during the pandemic. But there is hope.
The pandemic numbers are generally declining, more people are being vaccinated, more businesses are opening, bands are being booked for local gigs, major concerts are scheduled for this summer, fall, and into the winter. But our impatience dims our hope.
Hope doesn’t find you - you have to find hope. There is hope that America will be better and that, in reality, we are better than the media would have us believe. But the media is a reflection of it’s audience - you - and so are our politicians. Holding individuals accountable for the ugly reflections we are witnessing through the media is not as controversial - or appealing - as blaming outside forces, like the media and the politicians we elect.
Let’s face the realities of the impact of the pandemic, racial tension, and everything else that is happening - but let’s also notice that life in America is not as bad as the capsulized version of life we see on TV and hear on talk radio.
