Escaping reality or just celebrating moments like football games and birthdays involve the consumption of alcohol. Drinking to have fun is part of being an American, but for 29.2 million Americans (10.2% of the population), drinking alcohol is part of a painful side of life.
Drinking is synonymous with fun and partying, but for millions of Americans drinking is a dark deed. People who know they have a drinking problem often don’t know what to do about it or they are scared to stop. Drinking - the bottle - is a friend - a bad friend - but a friend who is always there and there can be a fear of what life would be like if someone breaks up with that friend.
Today, I invited Rob Schulte, the drummer and frontman for the band The Topcats, into the studio to share his story about gaining sobriety. Rob’s story is compelling and inspiring. Rob said he didn’t reach the absolute bottom like getting into a serious accident or killing someone, but he said he hit his own low point when drinking became a necessity and it didn’t end until he passed out.
Rob never drank before gigs and played the drums sober so he thought he had his drinking under control, but it was after the gig or on days off when drinking became a problem and once he took that first drink it wasn’t over until he was unconscious. Even before blacking out, Rob talked about how life was a blur and people would tell him he did things that he couldn’t remember.
As a musician who plays in bars and clubs and at festivals where drinking is going on all around him, Rob has been able to resist the temptation to take that first drink. When people would buy him a shot he would give it to the band or crew and he says he was never tempted to start down that road again. Many people who are alcoholics avoid being around drinking, but Rob has no problem being around it without being tempted. I asked Rob if he felt a sense of strength and power over resisting the temptation and he said “YES!”
Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue and Elton John are two popular artists who dealt with their addiction to alcohol and drugs and both now talk about how great life is without it. They talk about how great they feel on stage. Rob Schulte talked about the same things. He loves being “present” all the time and being aware of everything around him. Elton John was afraid to quit because he was afraid people wouldn’t like him or that he wouldn’t be good on stage. What Elton discovered is that being on stage and everything was so much better when he was sober. Today, Rob has a new sense of who he is and a new sense of life around him. There are a lot of inspiring things about no longer being a slave to alcohol or drugs.
When I was going through a very difficult time in my life I was drinking a lot. In fact, Rob and I often got drunk together. I thought I was an alcoholic, but realized that I can have two drinks and not have another one. Alcoholics can’t stop once they take that first drink. I discovered I was drinking excessively because I didn’t like myself and I wanted to escape “me” and my situation. At some point a few years ago I realized that I just didn’t like drinking any more and I didn’t need it so I basically quit. I may still have a glass of wine or two, but I don’t even remember the last time I did that. I’m happy with who I am and I’m happy with my life and I choose not to drink. But I don’t criticize anyone who drinks socially and even gets drunk on occasion, as long as they are not driving.
Congratulations to the many of you who have faced your alcoholism and beaten it. And to those who have not but know they have a problem, try to find the help that is available everywhere. Rob said that one of the biggest challenges was to admit that he had a problem. Once he did that he discovered that so many people are willing to accept you, help you, and love you.