‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the White House,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes the media would soon be fair.
Donald was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of Epstein girls danced in his head.
And Trump in his red tie, with another Epstein lie,
Marjorie Taylor Greene started an anti-Trump rallying cry.
When out on the South Lawn there arose such a clatter,
Trump sprang from his bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window he flew in a flash,
Trump saw the media he thought of as trash.
The moon on the breast of the South Lawn snow,
Gave the luster of more ICE agents for the media to show.
When, what to his wondering eyes did appear,
But countless illegals scrambling and running in fear.
With all the reporters so lively and quick,
Trump knew they reported he might be sick.
More rapid than spreading negative stories they came,
Trump whistled, and shouted and called them by name.
Now Maddow, now Cooper, now Ingram - that Vixen,
Calling female reporters “piggy” made Trump worse than Nixon.
To the top of the ratings Fox News beat them all,
CNN changed, but continued its great fall.
So up to the White House Trump’s cabinet they came,
It was boring, Trump slept - it was reported as lame.
And then, in a twinkling, Trump began to reveal,
“I want Greenland and Gov. Landry will make the deal.”
Trump was dressed in a tie from his head to his feet,
And he was up again at night with ridiculous things to tweet.
Trump’s eyes - how they twinkled! His dimples how merry,
His cheeks were quite orange and he looked really scary.
Trump’s droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the hair on his head was as white as the snow.
He was plump and tall, a right jolly old elf,
And he continued to lie, in spite of himself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head;
Trump insisted he and those young girls never went to bed.
Trump spoke countless words, and went straight to his work,
Chuck Schumer and those on the left still thought he was a jerk.
And making gestures that he was far from done,
MAGA supporters expected another run.
Trump sprang to his feet, to his staff gave a whistle,
Saying Kimmel’s jokes made his coiffed hair bristle.
But I heard him exclaim as he dismissed all the hate,
I wouldn’t renovate if I weren’t planning to run in 2028!