The nation is deeply divided this Inauguration Day. Left and right argue about the smallest things. Yet there is one man out there who could truly unite us all together, and it starts with free beer for everyone (over 21) every Friday.
Fan Morning Show co-host Colin Dunlap asked Jim Colony Wednesday, hours before a new president is inaugurated what he would do to get votes in a campaign.
Colony quickly quipped that he’s only in his mid-60s so he’s still too young to run, compared to the two men that ran in last year’s election.
But what would Colony do to get your vote?
Monday Night Football starts at 7 p.m. not 8:15 p.m.
“That’s east coast bias as well but that’s okay because guess where we are, the east coast and when I won I would still be living on the east coast.
Super Bowl moves to Saturday. (Final Four moves to Saturday and Sunday as well)
“If you’re going to have that extra week off between the Conference Championship and the Super Bowl anyway, play the damn game on a Saturday.
Day World Series Games: Not every day.
“There would have to be at least two-day World Series Games, because you gotta market the World Series toward the kids.”
Free Beer Friday
“That’s it, free beer Friday, everywhere.”
Other considerations President Colony would take are no longer allowing adults without kids to go to baseball games with gloves to snag foul balls away from children, making the “nuclear football” in the shape of an actual football and reverting the Steelers uniforms to the old block lettering.
Oh, and the one thing that Jim would keep in tradition with past presidents...GOLF, and a lot of it!
This message was not paid for by any political party or affiliation and is a pipe dream for entertainment purposes only.
