My 17 year old son, Alexander, picked up his cap and gown from Cromwell High School today. He's graduating in a drive-thru ceremony with the rest of his CHS Class of 2020 seniors. I'm so proud of him, he's kind and caring, smart and funny — all the things you hope your child will grow up to be.
However, I'm also selfish and sad. My first born baby is leaving the nest and I haven't stopped crying. Like crying so hard I'm on the verge of bursting a blood vessel in my eye. I KNEW childhood was gonna fly by. It's the most honest thing seasoned parents tell new parents. "Pay attention, the YEARS FLY BY" they said while I cradeled my son in my arms and wiped his runny nose. But OMG I didn't think it would go THIS fast.
Wasn't it only yesterday he was a newborn babe, and my husband and I were trying to navigate how to install a car seat? Wasn't it only yesterday that he started kindergarten — at the age of four no less?! Wasn't it yesterday he got his braces off and started high school?
There's this old parenting adage that goes like this: The days are long, but the years are short. SO SHORT. Please, I want to rewind. I cannot stop looking at his baby pictures and old home movies. I've ugly-cried about a 1000 times. So much so that my younger son, Ian has threatened to move out if I don't stop. I said, "just you wait 'till it's YOUR TURN TO GRADUATE — I'LL BE EVEN WORSE!"
I am a weee bit of a bleeding heart. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Been crying for years over happy moments.
I may be a softie and cry during RomComs but I'm also no weak stick. I've run 3 marathons and done a Tough Mudder with my hubby. I can take the physical pain. I have Lupus for crap's sake, I'm used to things being painful. But the emotional pain is different. Ugh. My father, a tough-as-nails Vietnam vet would tell me to suck it up and shake it off. Not gonna say sorry, dad — this is me.
Whether you're a hard charging warrior like my dad or a total blubbering mess like me, when we see our kids grow up and move on it's friggin hard as hell. But I keep reminding myself that it's all part of those "necessary losses" in life. I first saw the term "necessary losses" after reading the book by the same name by Judith Voirst. In it, she writes that all life is filled with necessary losses that are very much needed in order to move on to our next, healthy stage in life. Just look at what happens when our children are born, the umbilical cord is cut and the first "necessary loss" is noted.
So I'm going cry my heart out, because that's how I need to process this "necessary loss." Turns out —I'm not alone, there are lots of us parents out there who are DEVASTATED OUR BABIES ARE LEAVING THE NEST AND WE ARE A MESS RIGHT NOW!! But, we WILL BE ok, because this is all part of the joy of growing up and becoming our true selves.
Congratulations Class of 2020. If you're a parent reading this, hug your baby tight. And if you're a graduate reading this, please be gentle with your parents — they are not ok right now.