I'm moving to El Paso, so I can see a championship. (Yes, you can all start celebrating now -- the championship and the move).
I mean, there are no sure things in sports, but the El Paso Chihuahuas walking off with the Triple-A baseball title this year has got to be as close to a sure thing as you can get. Heck, this team might even be able to contend in the National League West.
Start with the catcher. Francisco Mejia is already probably better than two-thirds of the major league receivers, but he won't be able to beat out Austin Hedges with the big club. Wanting him to play regularly and improve his defensive skills, the Padres will not keep him as a backup. Instead, they'll send him to Triple-A. He's only hitting .423 this spring with three home runs.
Let's keep going. First base, Josh Naylor -- a star on the rise with nowhere to play in San Diego. Of course, he's blocked by the $144-million man Eric Hosmer. Second base, Jose Pirela -- an MLB starter last season who has been pushed out of a utility role by the acquisitions of Ian Kinsler and Greg Garcia, who unlike Pirela, can backup at shortstop.
And the Pads will need a backup at shortstop because their best player at the position will be the likely favorite to be the Triple-A MVP with El Paso. Of course, that's Fernando Tatis, Jr., whose major league "clock" the Padres would be smart not to start until sometime in May -- so that they keep control of his lower contract for a longer time.
Third base, Ty France -- a former San Diego State star, who is bashing the ball the spring, but of course is not going to beat out Manny Machado any time soon. Give me an outfield of Alex Dickerson, Travis Jankowski (injured for the first couple of months) and Aderlin Rodriguez, the massive Franmil Reyes look-a-like, who's making balls disappear in Peoria with regularity.
None of these guys will open the season with the Padres. Nor will some of these: Trey Wingenter, Aaron Loup, Sammy Solis, Jose Castillo (injured), Phil Maton and Adam Warren can't all be in the big league bullpen. And there's a good chance the El Paso starting rotation will include the likes of Logan Allen and Cal Quantrill.
Even spring sensation Chris Paddack could open in El Paso. The Padres want to keep him on an innings limit, so why not limit those innings to the second half of the big league season? They could delay starting his major league "clock" and get an important contribution in San Diego during the summer.
It's crazy, really. This El Paso team, it seems, could beat several major league squads on a regular basis (OK, maybe not, but don't tell me you'd bet against these guys against the Orioles or Marlins). If nothing else, they're at least looking at a parade come sometime this September.
You know about parades, don't you? Well, no, not in San Diego we don't. That's why El Paso is looking more and more attractive.