Never did I think I'd be writing about how losing a basketball game by 53 points was an absolute blast, but here we are.
After practice on Tuesday, media members were scheduled to play a pickup basketball game against each other on the Auerbach Center practice courts, sponsored by Junior Celtics Academy and New Balance. The game was supposed to be coached by Celtics coaches. But Joe Mazzulla had different ideas.
"I don't want to break it to you, but you're not playing against each other. You're playing against the coaches," he said before walking away from the scrum expressionless.
I though he was joking, and I wasn't alone.
About an hour later, we went down from the media work center and started warming up. The court was mostly empty — just a few of us getting a feel for the NBA balls and the bigger court dimensions.
As we were warming up, the coaches began to file in. Mazzulla dribbled around, chatting with different media members at different hoops — almost like he was doing a mini-scouting report. I was working on some threes, trying to adjust to the NBA line.
"Can you shoot?" Mazzulla asked.
"I'm three-and-D," I replied.
It was on.
And needless to say, we were overmatched — and that's no disrespect to my colleagues on the beat.
Mazzulla and Da'Sean Butler were key contributors on a West Virginia team that beat John Wall, DeMarcus Cousins, and Eric Bledsoe's Kentucky squad to advance to the Final Four. Amile Jefferson helped lead Duke to a 124-26 record during his time with the team and became just the 11th player in Duke history with 1,000 points and 900 rebounds. Tony Dobbins is the only Richmond Spider to be named conference Defensive Player of the Year twice. DJ MacLeay played four years at Division I Bucknell. God Shammgod Jr. was a four-year starter at Fairmont State and the program's all-time leader with 569 assists, 237 steals, and 895 points. And Phill Pressey, of course, played 125 games for the Celtics.
The result was expected: a 57-4 bloodbath. And somehow, it felt worse.
We probably should've known. This is Joe Mazzulla. Of course, he wasn't going to take it easy. And he didn't.
Mazzulla ensured his team didn't let up defensively, yelling at them to press — which they did, full court, for the entire 12 minutes. They were always a step ahead: trapping, jumping passing lanes, and poking balls away. If you were tracking turnovers with a pen, it probably would have run out of ink.
"Three and crash," Mazzulla would bark after almost every forced turnover.
Only there wasn't much crashing necessary as Shammgod Jr. and Pressey lit it up from beyond the arc. On the rare misses, MacLeay and Jefferson were down low to clean them up.
It all happened so fast. As soon as we had the ball offensively, they were swarming. If the half-court line was treated like an endzone and we were awarded six points just for crossing it, we still probably would've lost. There was no making up for the athleticism and skill they had.
As the onslaught unfolded, Luka Garza and Jaylen Brown watched on with a smile. Brad Stevens and Jayson Tatum also caught some of the action.
"Anyone want to do media?" Brown shouted down after.
It was humbling to be beaten by 54 … in a 12-minute game.
It was astonishing to see the coaches' intensity and talent firsthand.
It was embarrassing to misfire on every one of my three-point attempts after telling the head coach of the Boston Celtics that I was a three-and-D player. (I'll blame it on the aggressive closeouts, the 94-foot court, and the deeper three-point line.)
It was the most humiliating game I've ever been a part of.
And yet, it was a total joy. Playing at the Auerbach Center, with championship banners hanging above, against the coaching staff of the Boston Celtics? It doesn’t get much better than that. Definitely not your typical day at the office.
And if we're talking moral victories, which is admittedly ridiculous after losing by 54, you know Mazzulla isn't going to be happy about those four points allowed. He wanted a shootout, so we got them in that department, and it probably means they will ramp up the intensity even more next time.
Related
