Why would I do this?
Better question, why wouldn’t I do this??????
Each summer I set about doing something with the Patriots’ roster that not even Bill Belichick or Matt Groh probably undertake: ranking it from top to bottom.
While Belichick is busy with training camp practices and eyeing the oncoming cuts down to a mandated 53-man regular season roster, we here at WEEI.com go the extra analytical mile and slot each and every player in New England from 1-90.
Why?
Again, why not?
So, here it is, from what might be a surprising No. 1 all the way through our version of Mr. Irrelevant. Sorry to Micah and the entire Vanterpool family. It’s not personal, it’s just business.
Read it. Rip it. Hell, rip me @JumboHart on what I’m still calling Twitter.
Here it is, the Patriots’ roster in a way that you won’t see anywhere else on the internet or the planet!
90 – OL Micah Vanterpool: The last offensive lineman on a team with nothing but O-line troubles.
89 – LB Joe Harris-Giles: If the NFL doesn’t work out he should start a band.
88 – LB Carson Wells: Last person added the roster this August not named Zeke.
87 – CB Rodney Randle Jr.: Pro playing experience to date came in Montreal/Hamilton in the CFL.
86 – DB Quandre Mosley: Lots of NFL practice squad transactions in a short career.
85 – S Brad Hawkins: Was a five-year letterman who appeared in more games (56) than any player in Michigan history.
84 – LB Diego Fagot: A good Navy man who had a very good Navy career.
83 – DL Justus Tavai: The Tavai brothers are taking over New England and the NFL!
82 – TE Johnny Lumpkin: College blocking tight end trying to become NFL blocking tight end.
81 – TE Scotty Washington: Caught 110 passes at Wake Forest but awaiting first NFL catch heading into fourth season.
80 – RB C.J. Marable: USFL efforts landed him an NFL opportunity.
79 – WR Thyrick Pitts: Three-time All-CAA selection at Delaware.
78 – WR Raleigh Webb: A special teamer on a team loaded with special teamers.
77 – QB Trace McSorley: Inspiration for the catchiest song about a QB ever made.
76 – OL Chasen Hines: Big bodied O-Line option from LSU.
75 – OL Andrew Stueber: An All-American at Michigan playing catch-up on young NFL career.
74 – DL Jeremiah Pharms Jr.: Stuck around last season and was asked to go both ways in camp.
73 – RB J.J. Taylor: Size limitations aside, veteran never shies away from his opportunities.
72 – CB Ameer Speed: Think the team feels the need?
71 – DL Sam Roberts: Dude looks the NFL part.
70 – CB Shaun Wade: Hopes are no longer high for the former Ohio State standout.
69 – P Corliss Waitman: Led the NFL in punts last season for Denver, so there’s that.
68 – OL Kody Russey: In the unsettled O-line mix.
67 – CB Isaiah Bolden: A young developmental defensive back option.
66 – OL Calvin Anderson: Former practice squader-turned-starter in Denver.
65 – C Jake Andrews: A young developmental interior line option.
64 – LB Calvin Munson: Core special teams ability.
63 – Edge Ronnie Perkins: Two seasons with nothing to show for it for the former third-round pick.
62 – OL Bill Murray: Transition from DL to OL is impressive no matter what happens.
61 – WR Tre Nixon: He’ll always have the summer of ‘22.
60 – TE Matt Sokol: Someone’s gonna need to fill the third TE role.
59 – TE Anthony Firkser: Someone’s gonna need to fill the third TE role.
58 – QB Bailey Zappe: He’ll always have those Gillette Stadium “Zappe!” chants to remember.
57 – OL Sidy Sow: Getting early reps early in his career.
56 – RB Pierre Strong Jr.: Combine speed hasn’t translated to much just yet.
55 – WR Kayshon Boutte: In case you hadn’t heard he had 300 yards in one game as an LSU freshman.
54 – OL James Ferentz: Has carved out a remarkable eight-year NFL career.
53 – OL Conor McDermott: Veteran was practically a savior at right tackle a year ago.
52 – DL Trey Flowers: Once a key part of the Patriots front, but hasn’t played much football in recent years.
51 – OL Atonio Mafi: Rookie lineman might get an early shot to contribute.
50 – RB Kevin Harris: Not yet time to give up on the big, young back.
49 – WR/RB Ty Montgomery: If only he could stay healthy.
48 – QB/WR Malik Cunningham: Fun athlete for sure, but where is his future?
47 – S Joshuah Bledsoe: Flavor of last offseason hasn’t found a role.
46 – DT Daniel Ekuale: Makes plays when he plays.
45 – Edge Anfernee Jennings: Time for the former third-round pick to put it all together.
44 – PK Chad Ryland: Rookie looking to lock down the job.
43 – OL Riley Reiff: Journeyman veteran at this point, but still might be one team’s best on the line.
42 – LB Mack Wilson Sr.: Single-digit number switch has veteran looking more athletic.
41 – SPT Brenden Schooler: Respected young special teamer.
40 – SPT Cody Davis: Respected veteran special teamer.
39 – DT Carl Davis: Always seems to be ready when called upon.
38 – WR Tyquan Thornton: People forget he had a nice camp last summer, but he needs to do more.
37 – WR Demario Douglas: Flavor of the summer really does look like a classically-quick Pats’ slot option.
36 – LB Chris Board: His new coach thinks he’s one of the best special teamers around.
35 – LB/S Marte Mapu: As an intriguing and hyped a third-round pick as you’ll find.
34 – DT Davon Godchaux: Isn’t one of the best in the NFL, but fills a role relatively well.
33 – TE Mike Gesicki: Needs to bounce back after falling out of favor in Miami.
32 – WR DeVante Parker: Production has decreased each season since career-year in 2019.
31 – LB Jahlani Tavai: Really came into his own in 2022.
30 – LS Joe Cardona: Does the job well enough to keep Bill Belichick happy.
29 – P Bryce Baringer: Rookie can absolutely crush the ball, but must find consistency on the game field.
28 – PK Nick Folk: Veteran fell off a bit last season and is now battling for his job.
27 – DB Myles Bryant: For all his limitations, former undrafted player has played more than 55-percent of the snaps on a pretty good defense each of the last two seasons.
26 – G Cole Strange: Probably could/should be higher, but unlike his rookie starting job he’ll have to earn it here.
25 – WR Kendrick Bourne: Everyone would like to forget his 2022 and get back to his playmaking ways.
24 – RB Ezekiel Elliott: How much does the former Pro Bowl star have left, even as a complementary backup?
23 – QB Mac Jones: Pro Bowl rookie season. Dismal second year. Third time’s a…?
22 – SS Jabrill Peppers: Hard-hitting veteran plays a throwback style in the back end.
21 – CB Jack Jones: Has lived off his potential for a while now. It’s probably time realize it.
20 – DE Keion White: The imposing, athletic rookie could be a second-round steal.
19 – DE Deatrich Wise Jr.: Solid veteran had a breakout sixth season in 2022.
18 – DB Jalen Mills: Veteran was competitive at cornerback and is now back at more natural safety spot.
17 – SPT Matthew Slater: Back for one more run at it, still one of the best in the special teams business.
16 – S Adrian Phillips: Plays bigger than he is and gets the job done.
15 – CB/Ret Marcus Jones: Based just on his return ability, Jones would be higher.
14 – DT Lawrence Guy Sr.: One of the most underrated Patriots in recent years, veteran may be starting to show his age.
13 – T Trent Brown: At his best Brown is one of the best but he’s rarely at his best.
12 – CB Christian Gonzalez: The first-round rookie is clearly slotted at New England’s No. 1 cornerback thanks to high-end potential.
11 – LB Ja’Whaun Bentley: Former fifth-round pick has ascended to team captain and leading tackler, getting the most out of his ability.
10 – DT Christian Barmore: There is definitely potential-based projection here.
9 – WR JuJu Smith-Schuster: Newcomer has put together a handful of high-end NFL seasons but can he do it as a perceived No. 1 option?
8 – CB Jonathan Jones: Underrated veteran who’s very good in the slot and competitive on the outside.
7 – Edge Josh Uche: If this were just based on the production over the second half of 2022 a higher spot might be warranted.
6 – TE Hunter Henry: Limited upside, but veteran tight end is as solid as they come when used properly.
5 – C David Andrews: Maybe a little career-achievement respect here for the aging line centerpiece.
4 – G Mike Onwenu: Proven performer at both tackle and guard.
3 – S Kyle Dugger: Safety has all the tools, but needs to take his game to the next level in a contract year.
2 – Edge Matthew Judon: Veteran has been a consistent force for the defense and energetic team leader.
1 – RB Rhamondre Stevenson: After breakout season, dual-threat back is closer to the elite at his position than anyone else on the New England roster.