Tom Brady sits on a throne of lies

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Tom Brady sits on a GOAT QB throne of lies.

But instead of smelling of beef and cheese, the Patriots-turned-Buccaneers leader stinks of TB12-branded electrolytes and avocado, with the fragrance of Lombardi Trophy Tiffany sterling silver mixed in for good measure.

In case you missed it, Brady revealed recently on HBO’s “The Shop” something that many of us who’ve covered his entire career already suspected – a lot of time when Brady speaks he’s full of crap.

“What I say vs. what I think are two totally different things. I would say 90 percent of what I say is probably not what I’m thinking,” Brady said during an expletive-filled, theoretically laid back and truthful discussion that included LeBron James’ business manager Maverick Carter, Golden State Warriors star Draymond Green and comedian Chelsea Handler.

Ninety percent???!!!!

So those hundreds of hours spent over the years in New England listening to Brady’s press conferences, locker room interviews, conference calls and weekly chats on the WEEI morning shows were all a waste of time.

How about his “Tom vs. Time” documentary series? Yup, likely more fake, fraudulent and scripted than “Dance Moms.” Not only was Brady spewing his “90 percent” lies, but it was his production company putting it all together.

The fact that Brady doesn’t tell us what he really thinks – aka lies -- isn’t surprising. Everyone does on some level, certainly athletes, politicians and public figures. We all do it, especially in this era of cancel culture that can cost someone a job, relationship or opportunity at the smallest slip of the tongue. Sticks and stones still break bones, but these days words can seemingly be even more ruinous to lives.

Professional sports have always been a bastion of lying.
Lou Holtz talking up Notre Dame’s upcoming unstoppable opponent each week is part of the game. And avoiding so-called billboard material is key to most coaches, certainly Brady’s long-time boss and dare we say mentor Bill Belichick.

But 90 percent, Tom?????

That’s not the norm in any walk of life other than maybe con men. That’s more like an identity crisis.

The fact that Brady actually admits that he lies most of the time publicly, that is a bit more notable. They say the first step toward a solution is admitting you have a problem, although Brady clearly doesn’t seem to see his habitual lying as a problem but more of a survival tool.

Because really Brady’s revelation of his longstanding lying ways is almost more of a sad admission of insecurity than anything else.
Despite his success as arguably the greatest football player of all time, on par with the likes of Michael Jordan as arguably the greatest competitor and winner of all time in any sport, off the field Brady clearly isn’t comfortable in his own skin, his own stature. Sure he may be seen from afar as the perfect man. Despite all the success, money and fortune in every aspect of his life, Brady remains restrained, restricted and, like a kid in middle school simply trying to fit in where he doesn’t feel he fits at all, left feeling that lying is the best option.

Despite his obvious F-you money and even more obvious F-you success, Brady obviously really isn’t comfortable telling anyone to F-off.

Nope, he remains the packaged, measure, “90 percent” lying figure he’s been for so long, living in beautiful mansions and bobbing about in his latest multi-million dollar boat.

“I really admire people that actually can do that, and say what they think, because they invite a lot of other things into their life.
And I think there’s part of me that doesn’t like conflict. So in the end I just always try to play it super flat.” Brady said on “The Shop,” including his supermodel wife Gisele Bundchen among those who can truly speak their minds comfortably.

Flat is indeed perfect word. Because now we all know that we really don’t know Brady at all. He’s a flat figure, us lacking much veritable insight into his depth of character because he’s almost never comfortable being honest.

Unless of course the “90 percent” comment is part of the 90 percent lies. Then? Well, then maybe Brady has actually found a way to break the matrix. Mind blown.

For now, though, back to reality as we understand it.

Coming off his seventh Super Bowl ring and heading into his 22nd NFL season as he’s set to turn 44 in training camp, maybe the most tangible comment Brady made on “The Shop” was a newfound acknowledgement that he may not in fact be able to stave off Father Time forever.

“That’s not happening, not forever and ever, no,” Brady said. “We’re coming to the end. It’s coming to the end.”

Of course maybe that’s another one of Brady’s many lies, either to us or himself.

But if he is finally accepting his career mortality, maybe that means he’ll soon be in a position to actually tell the truth more often and share his earnest thoughts. To give us all a bit more insight into who he is, what he believes in and how he became so great for so long as one of the most popular men on the planet.

Because everything we’ve heard up to this point, as we now take it from the GOAT’s mouth, it was 90 percent lies.

The only thing that’s real, genuine truth regarding Brady is the success, the winning and the greatness. With Brady there really are lies, damn lies and his incomparable statistics.

For most people, most fans, that’s probably more than enough.

The rest of it is just talk.

Or in Brady’s case, lies.

Featured Image Photo Credit: Getty Images