Machine Gun Kelly details his battle with 'wild paranoia' and how he found a path forward

'I started getting really, really, really dark'
Machine Gun Kelly
Photo credit Ethan Miller/Getty Images

TRIGGER WARNING: Talk of a suicide attempt

Machine Gun Kelly is lifting the veil on his mental health struggles by sharing details surrounding his experience with paranoia and a suicide attempt in his recent Hulu documentary, Life in Pink.

Following the death of his father in 2020, MGK says he struggled with his mental health more than ever, leading him to extreme paranoia and a suicide attempt while on the phone with fiancée, Megan Fox.

Listen to your favorite music now on Audacy and check out Machine Gun Kelly Radio on Audacy

Exclusive Station
Machine Gun Kelly Radio
Listen Now
Now Playing
Now Playing

"I flew to my dad's apartment to clear all this stuff out. I had this really weird interaction with this neighbor who told me all these things I didn't want to hear," he shared in the film. "That f***ed me up even more because I couldn't get closure on it. I wouldn't leave my room and I started getting really, really, really dark."

He continued, "Megan went to Bulgaria to shoot a movie and I started getting this really wild paranoia. Like I kept getting paranoid that someone was gonna come and kill me. I would always sleep with a shotgun next to my bed, and like, one of the days, I just f***ing snapped."

MGK continued on to detail his downward spiral which ultimately lead him to a total breakdown while on the phone with Fox.

"I called Megan, I was like, 'You aren't here for me.’ I'm in my room and I'm like freaking out on her and dude, I put the shotgun in my mouth and I'm yelling on the phone and like the barrel's in my mouth. I go to cock the shotgun and the bullet as it comes back up, the shell just gets jammed. Megan's like dead silent."

The scary moments of his breakdown resulted in a large realization for MGK — he needed help. His Fiancee, Megan, and daughter, Casie, were the first ones there to support him and offer love and understanding.

"They simultaneously came at me with this like, 'I want to like, be able to see in your eyes. I don't want to like be talking to you through a veil anymore. I want to see you as my father and I want to see you as my husband-to-be,'" he explained. "I was like, 'I need to kick the drugs, for real this time.'"

Hear more of the rockstar’s story by seeing his Hulu documentary, Life in Pink, streaming now.

Audacy's I’m Listening initiative aims to encourage those who are dealing with mental health issues to understand they are not alone. If you or anyone you know is struggling with depression or anxiety, know that someone is always there. Additionally, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-800-273-8255.

I'm Listening
Resources | Twitter | Instagram