‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through her French Quarter place,
LaToya was stirring amid the crazy Christmas pace.
Her fishnets were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes Officer Vappie soon would be there.
Mayor Cantrell was nestled all snug in her bed;
While visions of the recall petition danced in her head;
And LaToya in her ‘kerchief, and Vappie in his cap,
They both settled down for cold winter’s nap.
When out in Jackson Square there arose such a clatter,
LaToya sprang from her bed to see what was the matter;
Away to the window she flew in a flash,
Noticing a reporter who she wanted to trash.
The moon on the breast of Decatur Street below,
Gave a sense to the mayor to hide her NOPD beau;
When what to her wondering eyes did appear,
But Fox 8 reporter Lee Zurik and video to fear.
With Zurik and reporters so lively and quick,
LaToya thought he was nothing but a (you know!);
More rapid than signing the recall they came,
And the mayor whistled, and shouted and called them by name.
Now Zurik, now Hammer, now Pearlstein and Mackle,
The mayor gave them content for the story they would tackle;
To the top of the balcony watering plants she was seen,
She said nothing’s going on that’s wrong or obscene.
And then in a twinkling, I heard Cantrell say;
“I’m angry about the upgrades I was forced to pay.”
LaToya was dressed to impress from her head to her feet;
With expensive clothes that made us wonder - did she cheat?
Damning commercials promoting the recall petition,
LaToya wished she went to her apartment without recognition.
Her eyes - how they twinkled! Her rhetoric how scary,
Her cheeks were rosy but beginning to look wary;
The mayor’s droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the hair on her head - was it dyed? she said “No!”
LaToya worked out, she was a right jolly ole elf,
And she disappointed voters in spite of herself.
A wink of her eye and a twist of her head,
Lee Zurik gave the mayor so much to dread.
LaToya spoke many words and went right to work,
Trying her best to prove Scoot was a jerk.
And making the obscene gesture to the media as one,
The mayor covered up stories that were anything but fun.
LaToya sprang to her feet - to her staff gave a yell,
Telling reporters they can all go to Hell.
But I heard her exclaim as she walked out of sight,
Merry Christmas to all - and I know I’m always right!
